Guilty of the former here. Like only always.
That’s how we’ve all been conditioned. We listen to respond. It starts in school. “Answer please.” We absorb entertainment with dialogues going back and forward. We banter with our mates. Then we cram calls and meetings into our busy agendas, focused on an outcome and the time that’s running out.
Which is all fine. It serves its purpose.
And if you are anything like me, there is just so much great stuff you want to share with the world. I’m sure we could all spend a whole lifetime amazing and astounding people with our observations, experiences, hopes, dreams and aspirations.
And this is the thing. We all could.
So there is no better feeling than when somebody hears us out. Not just listens to respond. But holds space for us. Meaning they empty themselves, remain fully present with us. They embody the very resonance of our words. They journey with and through us.
That is rare isn’t it? How often would you say someone hears you like that? How often do we even get the luxury of time and space to share that kind of connection with another person?
And how magical it is when we do. How beautiful a feeling when someone experiences us on that level. Sometimes it can gift us tremendous clarity and insight we otherwise wouldn’t have attained. It can enable us to release great burdens we have been carrying. We can get to know ourselves better and heal in commune with another who holds space for us and embodies deep listening.
Therefore what a tremendous gift to give someone. A precious moment of presence that will always be noticed and appreciated in the frenetically paced, attention saturated overwhelm of our lives.
Holding space, listening deeply, is a skill that like all expressions gets better with practice. I treat it as exactly that – a practice. I must always remind myself to hear more deeply. To show up more in the moment. To dissolve myself when listening just a little more.
To lean into and surrender to the space I am sharing with the other person. To truly connect with them.
The more I practice this, the more I catch myself out jumping in to take my turn, I ever so slightly harness more depth to offer a person.
When someone can lean fully into that space we forge for them, they trust us more deeply. Its only natural. Like the old adage goes: “Nobody cares what you know, until they know that you care.”
One of the first lessons I was ever taught in my professional career was that a customer doesn’t buy your product or service as much as they buy you.
This fundamental human behaviour will never change. People will always feel more comfortable in transaction with those who they feel a connection with.
Building that trust is as much about connecting with someone’s essence as it is about sharing yours.
If you’d like support in exploring your essence, or alchemising it to communicate directly to your market. Reach out to me now.